You’re trying to romance Date Everything‘s Jean Loo Pissoir, the toilet with more swagger than your hype playlist.
Funny thing is, he’s weird, confusing, and easily the hardest object to romance in the entire game. The final rap battle alone demands top-tier stats like 60 to 70 in sass, charm, empathy, smarts, and poise. And that’s assuming you even survive his passive-aggressive riddles before that.
That’s where I slide in. I’ve sat through every toilet pun and crushed his rhythm checks. I’ve got the details on where to find him, how to prep your stats, and how to flush your way into his heart.
Table of contents
How to Find Jean Loo Pissoir in Date Everything
You can find Jean Loo Pissoir in the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms. Interact with any of the toilets or the unclogger to have a conversation with him.
How to get the Love Ending with Jean Loo Pissoir in Date Everything
Jean Loo PIssoir is an energetic crapper (short for cool rapping) who refuses to date you until you truly master him in a crap (again, cool rapping) battle. But before you can prove your skills with ballcock, you must train with him.
Here’s every correct answer to get the love ending with Jean Loo (or Lil Crapper) in Date Everything:
First Encounter
- …So… you’re the toilet, huh? What’s that like?
- Holy crap.
- Consider me appealed to.
- You callin’ me old?!
- You want me to rap?
- … Excuse me?
- I’m just here because I’m crap at dating…
- Are you trying to bait me into a rap battle?
- How am I gonna learn how to rap?
- Huh?
- But all I’ve ever wanted is a pasty narcissist bolted to the bathroom floor!
- No.
Second Encounter
- Yes, I’m ready.
- It may be about the size of the box, but my box is totally the right size, my guy. Maybe you just can’t handle my enormous box with the tiny text? Do you feel intimidated by my big box that cannot lie? Is tha-
- Oh sure. This is my life now. I won’t question it.
- Okay, here goes.
- Okay. Got it.
- Okay…
- Jack.
- -Jack!
- -Back!
- -Sack!
- -Shack!
- -Smack!
- Are you interested?
- Yes.
Third Encounter
- Yes.
- Can you teach me your skills?
- Crap.
- Why though?
- I guess that makes sense.
- Haha, that’s a good one.
- Yes, I’m ready to crap.
- Is that why you always get clogged?
- Hey, those are high stakes!
- Turns out I forgot to lift the seat!
- You turn around to find that your car’s been towed!
- What’s next?
- Let’s go!
- Dredging her depths with their mastheads of plastic!
- This shit won’t be done ’til the one who’s in charge is!
- You’d better.
- Does this mean…?
- Let’s go!
- I think I should go increase my SPECS Stats first.
Fourth Encounter
- Let’s crap, Jean Loo!
- No way. I’m gonna smoke you and earn your love fair and square.
- Sass 30: Accelerate.
- Empathy 70: Psychoanalyze.
- Smarts 50: Use Homophones.
- Empathy 60: Hit him with his native language!
- Smarts 60: School this fool!
- Yeah, man. The Cherokee lived in, like… huts and cabins. Teepees were used by nomadic plains tribes.
- Drop a beat.
How to Get the Friends Ending With Jean Loo Pissoir
Choose the friends ending when offered in the final interaction to obtain the Friends ending with Jean Loo.
How to Get the Hate Ending With Jean Loo Pissoir
To get the hate ending with Jean Loo, just pick the wrong option during one of the rap battles: the one that doesn’t rhyme or has the wrong number of syllables.
If you change your mind, you can get him to forgive you using an Empathy Candy.
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