Of all the characters in Date Everything, Existential Dread, or Doug, is one that is worth the Content Aware skip. Not only is he ugly as a bucket with a hole in a shed, but he’s also cruel and aggressive. Anyone with a trigger to toxic emotional abuse will want to jump right to the end using Skylar’s handy help.
That said, for anyone who is interested in trying to make it work with the wall next to your kitchen, below is everything we have learned about Doug, and how to work through his puzzles.
Table of contents
How to Find Doug/Existential Dread in Date Everything’
To locate Existential Dread in Date Everything, stare at the small stretch of wall on the back of the stairs for 30 seconds with the Dateviators on. This will cause Your Inescapable Sense of Existential Dread to appear. Otherwise known as… Doug. Every time you want to interact with Doug, you have to stare at that wall for 30 seconds.
How to Get The Friends Ending With Doug
Listen, dear reader, I have to be honest.. I hated this one. Truly. Doug is the worst. But I did my best, and I managed to get out of it with the Friends ending, so… if you truly want to make this guy love you, or whatever, listen and agree to everything he says without question. I still don’t know if you can solve the Sudoku puzzle, and frankly, I didn’t care to try a second time. Good luck.
First Encounter
- I work out.
- Yeah my body dysmorphia agrees.
- Who are you, anyway?
- Yes please!
- Reconnecting with my estranged parents?
- There’s a Sass 75 Response here, but for this playthrough I chose, “What’s existential dread?”
- I kinda dig it.
- It’s [name]
- Yeah that’s accurate.
- With what?
- What’s a Sharebucket?
- Yep pretty much.
- Sounds great!
- Can I trade in “Doug Points” for cool prizes?
- This senator wants to replace all airplanes with blimps.
- Do you spend a lot of time with them?
- This doesn’t seem like premium content.
- I don’t think there’s a “cat lobby.”
- Who is Abbie?
- I like you Doug…. I just don’t wanna doomscroll!
- I agree.
- As long as it destroys Bakersfield.
- “You’re too kind.”
- I recommend sudoku
- Well, they were gonna learn it eventually.
Second Encounter
- Yeah, so what?
- Aww, thanks for noticing.
- Hard agree.
- There’s a 30 Smarts response here, for this playthrough I chose “I think my gym has one. It’s a machine for abdominals, yeah?
- Why are you telling me this?
- I hope so. You’re terrible at sharing stuff.
- The word “chillax” wills me with existential dread.
- Well I really appreciate that.
- If you say so.
- I did say that! You remembered!
- You sure are, Dougie.
- Was that an innuendo?
- How many “Doug Points” will that get me?
- A billion.
- Love it!
- Yes.
- Sounds like a waste of time!
You’ll go through nine responses of his listing out Sudoku lines. I, like a fool, chose to write out a real-life Sudoku square on a piece of paper. Doug will have you answer a few random questions. The problem is – I am not good at Sudoku.
The answers I chose:
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 1
- Fingers crossed!
This solution doesn’t work. (Editor’s note: I ran the numbers through a Sudoku solver, and these answers are definitely correct. Doug is just awful. It is likely this is meant to be impossible.)
- No, I don’t want that at all.
This reaction will not faze him and he will start the sequence all. Over. Again.
- Oh no. Oh no. This seems terrible. I don’t want ANY part in this. (This response will get you out of the loop)
- Yeah! This all seems like you’re wasting time on pointless things!
- There is meaning in enjoying the good things in life.
- No.
Third Encounter
- My insurance doesn’t cover dental.
- Ya know it kinda does; thanks!
- That’s not that upsetting.
- Yeah, whatever.
- Sounds like more fun than cheese rolling!
- Yeah I guess.
- Tired from what? Crocheting?
- What if instead of watching VidBucket, we tried talking?
- And isn’t that better than watching 253,000 car wrecks?
- Ok cool. Let’s do it.
- Yeah I’m finished.
- I guess…
- Yeah, we could do friends with benefits.
How to Get the Love Ending with Doug
If you want to get Doug to love you, for some awful reason, agree with everything he says. Accept the verbal abuse and go along with all the awful and wretched things he tells you.
Doug triggers content aware, which lets the player automatically choose how his story resolves without any of the unpleasant content. Those who want to skip being abused but get the Love ending can tell Skylar they’d like to jump right to the end of this one.
How to Get the Hate Ending with Doug
Fight back against his abuse and unkindness. Be extremely cheerful, and don’t let his attitude or tone get to you. He hates anything with a smile, so this will do the trick quickly.
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